A good friend of mine is a big, strong man. He is an entrepreneur and has children who are in their twenties. He told me an inspiring story. Years ago, my friend was driving in the car with his wife beside him and his daughter–at the time an adolescent–in the back. There is a heated discussion in which daughter daughter disagrees with her parents. At some point the discussion escalates and the daughter yells “what an asshole you are!” at her father. That curse hits him and he begins to cry.
I think this is a powerful story, because many a parent (myself included, probably) would react angrily to daughter’s name after this swear word, even though we feel hurt or affected. However, because my friend intuitively let his grief come out and allowed what he really felt, the whole situation de-escalated. Daughter immediately recognized that she had gone too far, bonded and learned more than a discussion could have brought her.
My moral: There is great power behind what we really feel. We are sad but we act angry. We’re scared but we joke around. Do you know what you really feel? Do you dare to allow that real feeling?